I was in a second-hand bookshop this week and couldn't resist picking up a collection of comic verse, enticed by the dust jacket which looks like Comic Sans is having a tussle with a telephone cable.
Printed in 1942 I was worried that the humour might be as dry as the yellowing pages but I found this gem, an epitaph for a dentist:
Stranger! Approach this spot with gravity!
John Brown is filling his last cavity.
And I also liked one about a man named John Bun:
Here lies John Bun,
He was killed by a gun,
His name was not Bun, but Wood,
But Wood would not rhyme with gun, but Bun would.
I like to imagine there's a graveyard somewhere filled with epitaphs such as these, much like the graveyard from a Simpsons Halloween episode, but for now I'll just have to be content with the ones I've exhumed from this book.
I'm not normally one to advertise the fact that it's my birthday but this year I'm proud to show off one of my gifts, even if I did have a hand in making it myself.
Freelancing for a chocolate printing company has its advantages, and as a treat for my b-day this year I was asked what I'd like printed. As I help out with the design work for Choc Edge it seemed appropriate that I design myself something.
I cycled through all my interests for which I could produce some fan art with a birthday twist and settled on The Beatles, turning my favourite one into a simple line drawing and adding lyrics from 'Birthday' in a Beatles font.
I was pretty pleased with the result that was presented to me though it posed a dilemma – whether to eat it or "hang it on me wall", as Ringo might say in an episode of The Simpsons. The strawberry flavoured pink chocolate got the better of me though and I decided it was time to say ob-la-di, ob-la-da (life goes on, no more chocolate bar bra).
The appearance of fabled lost footage from any TV show or movie, that hasn't even appeared on the web, is rare these days but for Twin Peaks fans something very special is being released from the vaults of movie/TV myth.
Fans have long hoped that the deleted scenes from the Twin Peaks prequel movie, Fire Walk With Me, would one day appear and it looks like July 29 is going to be that day. It has been announced that the Blu-ray release of the series this summer will include the movie for the first time in a box set, and 90 minutes of unseen footage culled from the final cut.
This footage has long been known to include the majority of regular cast members who were missing from the movie, and who can be seen in the trailer for the Blu-ray release. Their absence was one of the problems with the much maligned movie which has improved with age and despite its flaws is still an important part of the Twin Peaks canon.
The trailer is the most exciting two minute compilation of clips I can remember seeing for a long, long time, with a succession of what appear to be classic Twin Peaks moments. Good Cooper stuck in the Black Lodge, Annie on a hospital gurney, Doc Haywood doing magic tricks, and Cooper blowing a kiss (but to who? Diane?).
Hopefully the other 88 minutes is going to live up to the trailer but at this point anything will be gratefully received, as long as it doesn't involve "Little Nicky". My expectation is that they're going to be awesome but leave us even more tantalised at what shape the third season might have taken.
I can't decided which Twin Peaks quote describes this news best so I'm just going to list a few of my favourites;
"Damn fine coffee news"
"I have no idea where this will lead us, but I have a definite feeling it will be a place both wonderful and strange."
And finally, already one of my new favourites;
"Where's my axe? I'm HUNGRRRYYYYY"
This week I discovered there's such a thing as a shoe mitt. Maybe it's because I don't polish my footwear but it's a shoe shining assistant that I've been unaware of up until now. I also discovered that with the help of a sharpie it's possible to turn one into a rudimentary ghost hand puppet. I made the discovery in a hotel room, with a kettle which may or may not have been haunted, and yes. I was bored.
Mark is a freelance writer who specialises in technology, television and social media, but is adept at writing about a range of different subjects and in different styles.
As well as writing Mark has created other forms of content for the web and print including photographs, videos and illustrations.
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